Jeff Stumpo
is, unfortunately, not actually that witty. The bios above and below this one will almost assuredly make you laugh, while this one is simply, well, awkward. Maybe even fussy or, God forbid, a little obsessive. He's pretty sure that he shouldn't have used a word like "obsessive" to describe himself, but neither can he bring himself to go back and erase it. Blame it on the popularity of blogs and talk shows, though he neither writes a blog nor listens to talk shows, for encouraging his generation to shun revision. He's all too aware that he's said nothing about himself, only what he doesn't want to be, despite speaking in the third person for the duration of this bio. There's some actual information at his website - http://people.tamu.edu/~jstumpo

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Excavation
Jeff Stumpo

        In 2156 CE, you may be interested to know
        That a hundred years earlier, on March 23,
        I was watching March Madness on TV
        And wishing it was the World Cup qualifiers,
        Only we didn't have cable or satellite.

        Deciphering this first stanza will be the end-
        Of-semester project for some graduate student
        Not unlike myself, who, if a poet, will wonder
        Why I didn't write something better, or more to the point-
        Why s/he can't seem to publish far superior work.

        I don't have an answer for you, oh grad student.
        I'm as tired as you, out of good metaphors,
        Strapped to analysis until I can't create shit.
        I've been writing notes to my future bibliographer
        In the margins of my notebooks. Here's one:

        Get out while you still can.