In the famous words of Oscar Wilde, “to love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance”. But what does Oscar Wild mean? Oscar Wild seemed to encapsulate one of the key components of having a healthy self- esteem. You must love yourself because you are your own life-long companion. While there is a plethora of definitions for the nebulous term “self-esteem”, it is generally defined as confidence in one's own worth or abilities; self-respect.
But self-esteem is more complex than that. Self-esteem is like your opinion of yourself.
According to Nemour’s Children’s Health Care System, self-esteem is made up of the thoughts, feelings, and opinions we have about ourselves. That means self-esteem isn't fixed. It can change, depending on the way we think. Over time, habits of negative thinking about ourselves can lower self-esteem.
Here are some steps you can take to exercise a healthy self-esteem:
- Manage your inner critic: It is healthy to have goals and expectations for yourself, but remember, not everything can go as planned or exactly the way you would like for it to be. In the event that something doesn’t turn out as planned, don’t be too hard on yourself. If something sounds too harsh to say to your best friend, don’t say it to yourself.
- Roll with the punches: As we mentioned before, things won’t always go your way. The best thing to is accept that, and move forward. Choose to be resilient rather than a victim! Aim for effort rather than perfection.
- Change the way you think about yourself by stopping inferior thoughts in their tracks. Inferior thoughts can be something along the lines of, “She’s prettier than me,” or “He’s more popular than I am.” Notice what you are thinking and remind yourself that everybody is unique and better at different things, to compare yourself is impractical.
- Try new things! Perhaps taking up a new hobby can show reveal some amazing skills you have!
- Recognize what you can and cannot change. When you ask yourself what makes you unhappy, determine whether it is in your control or not. So, you want to lose a few pounds? Get motivated and hit the gym, because that is in your control. But if you are unhappy with the shape of your head, then learn to accept that. Obsessing over your “flaws” will bring you down. Most of the time, other people don't even notice these things!
- Set goals for yourself and keep track of your progress. An example could be working out for an hour a day, and tracking every day that you keep your promise to yourself. Train your inner voice to recognize all the effort you put into your work and give yourself a mental pat on the back!
- Take pride in your opinions and ideas. Don't be afraid to voice them. If someone disagrees, it's not a reflection on your worth or your intelligence. That person just sees things differently from you.
- Be yourself! Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “I’d have more friends if I was attractive”? Remember that you are unique in every wonderful way. Hang out with the people you care about and do things that you love.
Listen to Oscar Wilde's advice and be your own best friend! You’ll soon realize, there is no better friend you could ask for!
By: Peer Educator Alexis Zubia
