Helping a Friend 

Friendships are one of the most valuable relationships we have and they are essential in protecting our mental health. We care about our friends and we love them, even through annoyances and fights. But friendship is more than just laughter and having fun, it is about actually trying to be a good friend. One of the most important ways to be a good friend is to help them when you notice something is wrong. It may sound like a big responsibility, but it doesn’t have to be.  

The first thing in knowing if something is wrong is to notice the signs. It is normal to get sad or upset during tough times, but prolonged periods of this can mean that there is something more serious happening. Some signs to look for are: self-harm, severe mood swings, refusing to eat food, repeated use of alcohol or drugs, drastic changes in behavior, extreme difficulty concentrating, or talking of suicide.  

Once you notice that there is something wrong, the next step is to let them know that you’re concerned and that you care. Saying things like, “I’ve noticed that you haven’t been yourself lately, is something going on?” is especially helpful. Make sure that you are being compassionate, understanding, and free of judgement. Your friend might not respond to your questions and that is okay, they might just not be ready to talk yet. You cannot force someone to get help so just offer your support. You can even ask things like, “ How can I best support you right now?, or “ Would you like me to go with you to a support group or a meeting?” Let them know you are there.  

Lastly, do what you can to keep them in your life. Text or call your friend regularly, and invite them in your plans, even if they do not always go. Try to learn more about mental health so you can better understand what your friend is going through. Remember not to say dismissive language like, “ You’ll get over it”, or “Toughen up,” as it doesn’t help anyone feel any better. 

If your friend is experiencing a mental health condition, this is the time they need you the most. Sometimes your friend may be too afraid to seek help or say anything. This is where you can come in. A simple conversation can be extremely therapeutic and can make a huge difference in someone’s life. After all, wouldn't you want the same for you? 

Written by: Alessandra Merino 

NAMI. (n.d.). How to Help a Friend. Retrieved from https://www.nami.org/Find-Support/Teens-Young-Adults/How-to-Help-a-Friend